A really frustrating thing is when an older person is probably neurodivergent and doesn’t realize it, and would be unspeakably insulted if you suggested as much, but would likely be a lot happier and easier to get along with if they had a little more self-awareness.
Bonus points if, any time you mention things that you struggle with thanks to your own neurodivergency, they immediately dismiss you because “everyone has that, you just need to deal with it”. And you just sort of look at the camera and sigh.
Direct byproduct of being neurodivergent and growing up isolated from your peergroup is having no idea when it’s appropriate to define someone as your friend
Is this person I met yesterday my friend? What about this person I’ve been talking to every day for three months? What about this person I’ve known since middle school? Is friend a title I have to earn? What are the limits of friendship? Is it a static state, make-or-break, or is it some endless dance-dance-revolution style cavalcade of prompts and challenges and social cues I have to hit perfectly to keep it up? Does it bend? Does it break? I don’t fucking know man I just work here.
As a genderless person, it’d be nice if people could remember that not everyone is transmasc or transfem—that some of us are neutral, that some of us aren’t even on or anywhere near the male/female and masc/fem binaries.
It’d also be nice if more people would acknowledge that HRT and surgery isn’t exclusive to transmasc and transfem people. Like, a GQ/NB person who wants phalloasy, top surgery, or testosterone isn’t necessarily transmasc. And a GQ/NB person that wants vaginoplasty or oestrogen isn’t necessarily transfem. Wanting to transition when you’re neither a man nor a woman isn’t necessarily about identifying with masculinity or femininity, it’s about wanting a body that’s the most comfortable, a body that’s the least dysphoria-inducing.
tbh when I see other lgbts in public like a gay couple or like a trans person with pride flag and pronoun pins i try and give them a Look like telepathically communicate like yes hello peers like when two bus drivers pass
but I know if they ever notice me I probably look like this
Allow people to like you, to enjoy your company, to want to be your friend. Allow them to compliment you, allow others to think you’re cool and funny even if you think you’re not. It is not up to you to tell others how to feel, and remember that people might see the positive things in you and qualities that you have been failing to see while being too self-critical. Allow yourself to be liked by other people, even when you don’t see why they should. Don’t self-isolate because you think you are not good enough for other people.
as someone who uses they/them pronouns and works with children, never let anyone tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t teach children about pronouns and gender diversity. It’s possible, it’s easier than you’d think, and it’s beautiful
highlights from this summer at camp, where I work as a program staff member:
-I come out of my cabin dressed in a button-up and a tie for our weekly fancy dinner. Eight-year-old boy A sees me and says “she looks nice!” Eight-year-old boy B cries out at the top of his lungs, “IT’S A THEY!”
-A very young girl I’d never spoken to approaches me at checkout, hands me what appears to be a piece of abstract origami, and walks away. I unfold one of the flaps to find “peace love pride gay” written inside
-Nonbinary campers are increasingly out and visible, and they notice me (our camp director now mentions me and our other nonbinary staff member when parents call with concerns about their nonbinary kids attending camp). One spends an entire programming hour glued to my side, talking emphatically about their favorite anime while we walk down the beach together. They later present me with a nonbinary flag friendship bracelet. They’re eleven.
-Ten-year-old boy who typically has a great deal of difficulty controlling his impulses and responding appropriately to his emotions asks me suddenly over dinner whether I’m a boy or a girl. I thank him for asking me and tell him I’m not either. He responds, ever-so-chipper, “well, (camp name), I like you just the way you are!”
-Yet another rowdy ten-year-old boy, at the end of his second session at camp of the summer, tells me unprompted at dinner, “you know, (camp name), I’m really glad I came to camp, because you’re the first they/them person I’ve met. I’m sorry if I get it wrong sometimes.”
My 8 year old met a non-binary person at camp a couple of weeks ago (another child) and when I picked him up, I asked if he made any new friends and he said, “Yes, Nathan who is a boy and Ari who is neither a boy or a girl.”
It was said with such certainty and when he mentioned Ari later, he referred to them as a “she” and then stopped and said, “wait, Ari uses they/them so they said…” He’s 8. Kids can absolutely learn this and have fewer problems with it than grown ups often do.
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“| Jeffrey Weinstock, Invisible Monsters: Vision, Horror, and Contemporary Culture
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[Image ID/ Text reading: It takes a village to make a monster. /End ID]
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